


Human

by fatetinhourglass



Category: Orwell (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, because yes i do put them together, i also wrote this before finding out sensitive information about symes, right so spoilers, so either a) certain things are changed or b) symes isnt an honest man is he
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-07 22:25:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13444677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatetinhourglass/pseuds/fatetinhourglass
Summary: Nina dies.It's not a proud moment.





	Human

Her breath hitched - she kept listening to the call, giving vital information to her handler, a man named Symes, to do with as he saw fit. Her fingers kept moving, kept busy - anything to keep her nerves from bubbling up in her throat, threatening to swallow her whole. She didn't want to do this. She really didn't want to do this. The first few people were easy enough; some entitled rich girl with no real grasp on reality, an asshole douche with a mouth, a man who seemingly removed himself from the internet - but this? This was harder. This person was a single mother, struggling to support her son, haunted by old wounds from war. A woman who grieved heavily over the loss of her husband, after so many years, still sticking by his name.

This woman was hurting, sick, and wounded. There lay no better victim for a martyr. But how could she be justified in her actions? How could anyone justified the countless, unnecessary deaths that laid in this woman's wake? There were no soldiers that way, there were no fighters for a cause. They were simply people in the way. If the woman's cause was just could be up for debate all they wanted higher on the ladder but senseless slaughter could never be justified.

It didn't make it easier.

The investigator couldn't breathe as she heard the woman scream, on the top of her lungs that they were not going to take her son, silenced by the roar of gunshots. This woman - Nina - had a friend, Juliet, and Juliet had called out for her in the aftermath, but there was no answer. Juliet could count herself lucky that she would not be the only one to bear witness, that this one moment would haunt her as much as it would haunt Juliet, but it would be a gnawing pain to twist her stomach. Juliet would have no such relief. She would not know, she would never know, and she alone would feel the guilt sink in until it consumed her. If nothing else, she would pity Juliet. Pity was all she could give.

She swallowed as her knuckles turned white, reading the escalating angry text that Symes kept giving out - she'd always figure him to be smooth and collected at all times, but he rang out with frustration today. He lost connection to the scene, demanding it back. She could tell him. She knew. 

“I got connection back to the scene. There was a shoot-out at the scene. Our target…. She didn’t make it.”

Quietly, with the sincerity of a child, she hugged herself in the silence. Even knowing what the woman had done didn't stop the pain, and it didn't stop the guilt. Nina was a criminal yes, worse then a criminal - but she was desperate too. A son lost his mother. A friend lost her friend. She tore a family apart, just as her own family was, all for the "greater good".

That was the only justification was there, wasn’t it? It was for the greater good.

“I told them to go in aggressively, I thought….. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

Biting her lips, she went to write a response. She wouldn't let Symes stew in his own emotions when she was there too. "We both thought we were doing the right thing. But sometimes.... the right thing isn't really clear, is it? Sometimes, it's a hard thing to do. Maybe there was a way to do things better, but we acted according to the law and our best judgement. I don't think you can ask more then that." It was the answer that Symes likely wanted - that at the end of the day, they did their job and what was asked of them, no matter how terrible the situation ended up. It was the answer she wanted, too. Because no matter how bad she felt, she had done the bottom line, hadn't she? 

Usually, Symes responded to her quips or messages quickly, but this time, there was a heavy pause between them. She sighed again as she leaned back in her chair, waiting for any response from Symes. She wasn’t sure if she had made him feel better, or worse about the whole thing, but she hoped her words at least resonated with him a little.

“I…. suppose you’re right. You should go log out. It’s been a long day.”

She frowned. “No. I’m staying with you until you log out.”

“You need your rest.” He wasn't going to parent her, not today.

“And you’re not alone.” She shot right back.

Symes would wait for her to give in and log out. He had done this before, and he would do so again, because he thought this was his duty. He was her handler, so all responsbility fell on him. It was what caused him to be online longer then he needed to. Symes was, as she found out, dedicated to his job, constantly overlooking all the facts to ensure the best possible outcome to every decison he undertook. Right now, she knew he was probably blaming himself for what happened, and she blamed herself too. She wasn't going to let him win this stupid old war between them - they both hurt and they both felt. That's why they needed to stay together. That's why she wasn't going to leave him. Not tonight.

Even if they were the Watch Eye of The Nation, even if they were the first responders to a situation, underneath of all that responsibility, they were still human. Underneath that skin of watchful protector, quick to strike, guardians of the law, they were still human. And to deny that, to avoid things when they clearly hurt, like Nina’s death, they would be dying. They would be nothing.

“You’re still human, Symes. Nothing will ever change that.”

No response. She tried again.

“It’s okay. You’re not alone. I promise. I know you want to deal with this alone, but you can't. Don't you trust me with your feelings? We work so closely together - can't you trust me with that? Or do you think I don't understand? That I don't feel like you do? Is that what you're going to tell me, Symes?" 

“Fine, if you do insist on staying….”

She smiled wide, putting her feet on her desk, lounging in her victory. 

“Just promise me you will not stay long. You still need your rest.” Ah, there was a “but” with Symes. Always, never failed to show up. But she was alright with that. It was fair to say she won the battle this time.

“Like you need yours, right?” She teased, imaging him sighing and rolling as his as she often did, but wishing to see his face for once and know his smile. 

“Yes, yes….”

**Author's Note:**

> so little do you know, there's actually an indie game based on Orwell's 1984, appriopately named Orwell. it's rather short with some different endings and overall a pretty cool game. check it out.
> 
> http://store.steampowered.com/app/491950/Orwell_Keeping_an_Eye_On_You/


End file.
